Parent, Day Job and Writing

How on Earth do you have time to write, be a parent and have a full time job? 

It's a question I hear a lot and I'm not sure if I have the answer. 

I have been working on this book for three years now. I started it in the summer of 2017. I think if I didn't have children, if I didn't have a full time job, I'd have this book cracked by now. 

As a (currently) unpublished author, at least all my deadlines are self-imposed. I don't have an editor or agent asking me to do edits by this date or that. However, I have put my foot down and said this novel needs to be finished and I want to be querying by September.

This means, I have to try to find time in my busy day to write. So, what do I do?

I've put together some things that I do to scrape time together to write. This doesn't mean what I'm suggesting is the right thing to do or what you should be doing to find time to write. We each have different families and different demands. We each have to do what is right for our family at the time. 

Also, I'm not going to mention Guilt. Just assume it's ever present.

The TV

Sometimes, it is ok to whack on the TV. For us, it's all about balance. The children might watch a film, or we might watch one together but we're also going to play with lego that day, or play outside.

The same with tablets or old phones that they play with. I have a few moments of peace and they have time to relax and unwind in a similar way that I do when I've had a busy day. 

Garden Time

We are very lucky to have a garden, and on the few days of the summer where it isn't raining or unseasonably cold, I do encourage the children to play independently in the garden. I can scrape together a few minutes between sword fights, sand castles and water guns. (I love playing in the garden.)

Writing in the Evenings

If I'm not doing Day Job things in the evenings, I cram in as much writing as I possibly can. I am lucky that the kids generally go to bed and stay there at bedtimes so I can sit and concentrate on what I'm doing. 

I've just started reading the eldest middle grade books, so bedtime stories now also double as research!

I must admit that writing when I'm tired, home from work and brain-fried, I don't produce the best writing but that's what editing is for. 

No Me Time

Because of my self-imposed deadline, I have been focusing more on writing and less on doing things I enjoy just for the sake of it. That doesn't include family things like going for walks, but I have hobbies that have fallen by the wayside so that I can focus on writing this book.

For me, this can't be helped. I know how important this book is to me, and I just have to make some sacrifices to ensure it is released into the wild.

A Strict Schedule

Also due to my self-imposed deadline I have put myself on a writing schedule. I thought it would be impossible to write when I knew I had to but actually I've found it's really helped to get the story down on paper. Like they always say, you can't edit a blank page. 

Using the writing schedule, not only have I made heaps of progress but I also don't feel guilty on non-writing days where I did before. 

Be Kind to Yourself

This is an important one, I think. I am not kind to myself. Even when I'm playing with the kids or doing something else that I enjoy, I have that nag at the back of my mind saying I should be writing, not watching TV or (pre-pandemic) out with my friends.

But I have to embrace my ambitious nag and yes, I will be writing but this time is for me. It is ok to have a break or take five minutes for other things.

I am also very lucky because I have a lot of support in my husband and my Dad who will distract the children for a few hours to give me some time to write. I know not everyone is so fortunate so I am thankful for that.

That's How I Do It

I'm not sure if my solutions to the Parent, Day Job, Writing question are any good, or any use to anyone else but that's how I manage it. I get an hour or so here and there and hope that it all makes cohesive sense when it's all put together. 

Best of luck writing your novel and feel free to write in the comments any of your writing tips.